Bible Study: The Two Types of Wives in the Bible — Understanding Joseph & Mary
INTRODUCTION:
Modern readers often overlook something significant in Scripture:
The Bible reveals two distinct types of wives in ancient Jewish culture. These categories were important for understanding marriage law, purity, covenant, and the story of Joseph and Mary, the earthly parents of Jesus.
Many believers assume that engagement and marriage in the Bible worked like modern dating culture, but Scripture paints a very different picture. According to the Law of Moses and Jewish tradition in the first century, a woman could be a fully legal wife without the marriage being completed or consummated yet.
This truth helps us understand passages that confuse people today, including:
Why Mary is called Joseph’s wife before they lived together
Why Joseph would need a divorce even though they weren’t sexually involved
Why adultery laws applied during betrothal
Why the angel addressed Joseph as Mary’s husband even before the wedding ceremony
Understanding this topic not only strengthens our comprehension of the birth of Jesus—it also deepens our respect for the righteousness and obedience of Joseph and Mary.
Today’s study will explore:
The two types of wives in Scripture
Biblical examples demonstrating each category
Historical context from Jewish marriage customs
How Joseph and Mary perfectly illustrate God’s design
Let’s begin.
Two Types of Wives in the Bible
The Bible shows two distinct stages of marriage, and in each stage, the woman is already called a wife.
These categories are:
A. A Betrothed Wife (Legally Married, Not Yet Consummated)
B. A Fully Married / Consummated Wife (Living Together & “One Flesh”)
Both were considered legitimate marriages in Scripture, but they were different stages with different expectations.
Let’s examine each one.
A Betrothed Wife — Fully Legal, Not Yet Consummated
A betrothal in ancient Jewish culture was not “engagement” the way we think today.
It was a binding marriage covenant, established by agreement and sealed legally.
Biblical Characteristics of a Betrothed Wife:
She was already called a wife
The man was legally her husband
Breaking the covenant required a divorce
Sexual unfaithfulness was considered adultery
The couple did not live together yet
The marriage was not consummated
Scriptural Example: Mary Was Joseph’s Wife Before Consummation
The Bible clearly says Mary was already Joseph’s wife:
“Joseph…was minded to put away his wife secretly.”
— Matthew 1:19 (NKJV)
But it also says:
“Before they came together…”
— Matthew 1:18
Mary and Joseph were:
Legally married
Morally bound
Spiritually committed
NOT yet living together
NOT yet sexually united
This proves a biblical category of a betrothed wife.
The Law Supported This
Deuteronomy 22:23–24 teaches that a betrothed woman is legally treated as a wife, and adultery during this period carried the full penalty.
This shows how seriously God viewed betrothal.
Military Analogy (Explained Biblically)
This is the PERFECT way to understand betrothal:
A betrothed marriage is like a couple who signs legal marriage papers, but the husband gets deployed immediately.
They are:
Legally married
Bound by covenant
Husband and wife in the eyes of God and the law
Not yet living together
Have not had sex yet
Still two flesh, not one flesh
And YES — even in this situation, to end the marriage, they must go through legal divorce.
That is exactly how Joseph and Mary’s marriage worked.
A Fully Married (Consummated) Wife
After the betrothal period, the husband would:
Prepare a home
Host a wedding celebration
Take his wife into the home
Consummate the marriage
Begin life together
This completed the marriage and fulfilled the “one flesh” union described in Genesis 2:24.
Scriptural Example: Joseph Takes Mary Fully as His Wife
After the angel speaks to Joseph, Scripture says:
“He took to him his wife,
but did not know her until she had brought forth her firstborn Son.”
— Matthew 1:24–25
This means:
Mary moved into Joseph’s home
The marriage reached the second stage
Joseph honored God by abstaining until Jesus was born
This is the fully consummated wife stage.
Why These Two Categories Matter Spiritually
Understanding the two stages of marriage reveals deeper insight into the righteousness, obedience, and roles of Joseph and Mary.
Mary’s purity is emphasized
She was a betrothed wife, not a random unmarried teenager.
Joseph’s righteousness is highlighted
He considered a divorce, not a breakup (Matthew 1:19).
That is only required for a legal marriage.
Jesus is born into a legitimate covenant
The Messiah enters a home where God’s law was honored at every step.
The story fulfills prophecy
Isaiah 7:14 — “A virgin shall conceive.”
This required a betrothed woman who had not yet consummated the marriage.
The Jewish readers understood this deeply
Modern readers often miss the significance, but ancient readers knew exactly what Scripture meant.
Summary of the Two Types of Wives in Scripture
Type of Wife Description Biblical Example
Betrothed Wife Legally married, not consummated Mary before living with Joseph
Fully Married Wife Living together, consummated Mary after Jesus’ birth
Both were fully lawful marriages in biblical times.
CONCLUSION:
The Bible clearly teaches that there were two stages of marriage, and in both stages, the woman was considered a wife:
1. A betrothed wife — legally married, covenant established, but not yet consummated.
2. A fully married wife — husband and wife living together as one flesh.
Understanding this distinction helps us interpret Scripture correctly, especially the birth of Jesus. Mary was not an unwed mother—she was a legally recognized wife throughout the entire process, and Joseph was a righteous man who obeyed God’s Word at every step.
This study reveals:
The seriousness of covenant in God’s design
The purity and faithfulness of Joseph and Mary
The beauty of God fulfilling prophecy with perfect order
May this understanding deepen your love for the Word of God and strengthen your faith in the divine precision behind the birth of Jesus Christ.
